“How was your Summer?”

The most common question you get when you go back to school. Almost impossible to answer in a short amount of time for anyone- especially if they have travelled or experienced new things. Personally, it would take several coffee dates to really know how my friend’s summers were and for them to know how mine was.

Or my friends could read this post and know in about 20 minutes 30ish minutes, then the coffee date could be all them talking? I’m not sure how long this will be. I am going to try and include details or things that really stuck out to me.

It began with me going home. Last summer, was reaallly rough at home. Look back here to learn a little bit about that summer if you so desire.

Anyways, I was not expecting much by going home for a big chunk of the summer. It did not start off on the best foot either. I barely fit everything in my car (I am an extreme over-packer). I was headed home, but before I did, I got Starbucks with one of my favorite families here. They bought be a Frappuccino and filled up my gas tank. So sweet!

I hug them all and then hit the road. I was ready to go, the music was up. Ten minutes on the highway and my car starts vibrating/shaking. I’m sort of freaking out, because I had just passed a semi (I am convinced they should have separate highways for themselves). I slowed way down, hoping that my car would make the five and a half hour drive home if I drove slow.

As I slowed down, it started violently shaking, to the point where I could not help but stop and pull over because I thought my car was getting ready to explode on the highway. By the grace of God, there was no traffic around me and could get into the grass. Along with the car shaking, so were my hands. My shaky hands dialed my mom on the phone and I was trying to hold back my tears and handle it like a “big girl.”

My mom told me to calm down and call the families I knew in town to see if they could help me. Being the girly girl I am, I had no idea what to even look for. All I knew was that my car was stranded. Then I got out of the car, with other cars zipping by on the highway next to me. I don’t think I pulled over enough. I then realized my tire was flat, shredded to pieces, and something was also sticking out of my car. My bumper was cracked too… great.

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Not one of Tori’s best days.

The tears were streaming down my face at this point and I called one of my best friends, who was also on the road, just to ask for prayer and some words of comfort.

Then, the father of the family I just left at Starbucks, came to the rescue. We unpacked allllll of the stuff from my trunk. He helped me take took the bad tire off, put the spare on, and was certain we could drive it to Wal-Mart, get a new tire, and I could be on my way home. But after changing the tire, the car still wouldn’t start. We called a towing company and he waited with me for an hour. We loaded the most necessary bags I needed to go home with me into his truck and when my car was towed away, we drove to their house. We ate pizza and coincidently, he had to be near where I lived early the next morning for work. He drove an extra hour to get me home late that night. I had to call my boss and tell her I wouldn’t be at work at 7 am because of this whole scenario.

As scary as it was having a tire blowout on me and as clueless as I was about what to do with that, God provided me with generous people who were willing to help me. I wouldn’t have my car for the summer, but we had an extra car in the driveway at home for me to drive in the meantime before my dad sold it. God provides, again.

So when I was safe at home, I started work and my online class that Monday.

The online class kicked my butt- Pathophysiology. You can hardly say that in one breath, and a lot of people just have a blank stare when I told them that was the class I was taking.
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Summer Studying

Work was good about keeping me busy and building experience in the healthcare field. I dealt with a stubborn woman who both refused and forgot to use her walker. She fell so many times, and most of the time they were really rough falls. One afternoon, I was walking down the hallway and heard her screaming for help, I ran into her room to find her in the bathroom wedged between the toilet and the wall, with her walker in the other room. It was one of the saddest things I have ever seen. She was crying, anxious, and nervous because she was wedged in so bad, we couldn’t help her out. Until 911 got there, I just sat on the toilet, rubbing her back, telling her that everything was going to be okay and also explaining how I found her to my boss and co-workers. We put pillows under her feet so that they were not cold on the tile and so that her toenails were not being scraped. We saw some blood on the wall and figured out it was coming from her arm. The EMTS got there and were so good with her. They were kind, funny, and extremely helpful. They got her out of there safely and in no time. She didn’t break anything, but had some bad bruises and cuts. After that bad fall, I was nervous for her whenever I caught her without her walker. I was astounded that, even after that situation, she STILL would not use it. I struggled being gentle in reminding her to use it because I also had to be stern, because it was her safety at stake. Even though she hated the advice, she thanked me for it. So confusing.

There was also a woman who I really had a sweet relationship with when I was last there for winter break. She wanted to set me up with her grandson and showed me pictures of him and her other grandchildren often. I just giggled about her grandson and said he was handsome. She was so proud to be a Grandma (her pillow even said so). Her husband lived with her and was, so I thought, in worse shape than she was. He needed more assistance due to dementia. She just sometimes had a hard time walking because of back problems.

However, when I returned in the summer, she was in the hospital for cardiac problems. The first time I saw her when she got back, she was on Hospice care in the facility. I held back tears as I watched her sleeping and hooked up to oxygen tubes. Taking care of her from that point on was an entirely different ball game. She needed help being fed, was bedridden, and could not have real conversations anymore. She got moved out of her and her husband’s shared room into a private room because her husband did not understand what was going on with her (due to the dementia). He was always looking for her, going up and down the halls, asking us what room she was in. We would tell him whenever she was not sleeping, because otherwise she would get no rest. It was like a “Notebook” scenario and really tough to watch and deal with as a healthcare worker. She passed away shortly after I left that summer. Life is short. So, so short.

Working as a CNA is always a humbling experience. Constantly putting other’s needs above my comfort and selfish desires can get to be exhausting. But it’s so rewarding when you start to build relationships with those you are caring for and can help make them smile about something, even if they are bedridden, sick, and have not seen family in a week. It always reaffirms my desire to be a nurse and help the helpless.

Moving on… I got to be home for a lot of fun things:

  • Brother and Sister’s Prom
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  • Weddings
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Chase Ford (NFL Vikings Player)

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Middle School Buds

  • Sister’s graduation
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  • Babysitting two of my favorite little girls
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  • Friends Visiting & Precious Family Time
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  • Elementary School Reunions
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The best fifth grade teacher and wonderful long time friends!

I also took a wonderful vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC. One of the most commercial beaches on the planet. AND SO HOT. but so fun.
Some highlights:
  • Using more sunscreen than I used body soap.
  • Heat Rash/minor sun poisoning on my feet (I learned that putting sunscreen on your feet is a necessity…)
  • Sand Castle building can be taken extremely seriously.
  • Crawfish boils are strange, but worth a try. (I just couldn’t get past the fact they were crawling 20 minutes before we ate them)
  • Six year olds have a lot to say. (My friend’s cousin was sharing about her “boyfriend”)
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So far, my summer was great. I couldn’t believe how smoothly it was going at home. I was busy, had friends to hang out with, and was able to serve my church there on the worship team. I came back to my apartment in college to get my car one week and was having a conversation with a friend that I felt like God was preparing me for something. I felt this way, because I was so refreshed after reading the book “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp (read my blog post about it here) which was all about being grateful despite tough circumstances life often brings you. I did not have anything to really complain about for my entire summer thus far. God knew that my soul needed that period of rest and joy. I am so grateful for that period of time I had to just look at life and do nothing but smile and give thanks. However, life cannot always be that way… I had scary thoughts that someone close to me was going to die soon or that I was going to die. (Dramatic, I know, but true!) Driving home from my college town (in my car that had the tire blow out) was one of the scariest drives home. Not only because I was paranoid about another tire blowout, but also because I just had this strange feeling that God was preparing my heart for something big, something possibly really tough, to go through. I did not feel ready, but I trusted Him and prayed about those feelings on my way home.
I made it home, but then something shook my world.

Livin’ the dream.

A lot of friends read my first post and told me they really enjoyed it. Thank you for the encouragement to keep writing!

This morning, (well, yesterday morning, because I am writing this past midnight… it’s not unusual for me to be up so late) I had what a lot of people would consider a bad morning.

  1. I woke up later than I would have liked to.
  2. I spilled a good amount of OJ while pouring myself a glass to get my vitamin C in for the day. (I have to boost my immune system, because there is some nasty cold/sickness/flu thing going around and I want no part of it)
  3. When I got in the shower, I realized my new body wash was in my bathroom drawer. So, soaking wet, I stepped out of my shower (avoiding my pile of dirty clothes… which my mom would be somewhat upset at me for) to get the soap. Then, I got back into the shower, to almost use it as shampoo. I saved myself… wiped the body wash on my loofah and saved it for later. Later, meaning, for when I conditioned my hair. (I soap up while my hair conditions… shower routines are no joke)
  4. I was also having a weird outfit day. I had to change my shirt twice. I was also not too crazy about the only clean pair of appropriate denim pants that I wore today. But I was in a rush, so I had little time to explore other options. I was in a rush because I had this gut feeling that parking would be terrible. My roommate reassured me before she left that I would be okay if I used our regular parking garage. Then, she texted me when she got there to let me know that it was actually pretty full. In a panic, I decided not to make oatmeal and grab a protein bar instead. I was out the door by 11:09 AM. My class didn’t start until 12:30 PM.
  5. I was low on gas. I checked one parking garage… and another… and another (driving to the top of each one, and back down). Checked my gas again… then started praying I would have enough to just find a spot. I checked three lots, maybe glanced at another. Still nothing. Checked the time… 11:45 AM. Made a terrified face. Checked my gas… nearing the E. I told myself that if I ran out of gas, I would e-mail my lab TA and plead not to be kicked out for not showing up on the first day…and then declare January 13th, 2015 as the worst day of the year so far. Then, I checked what felt like my only other option… Spirit Way Garage (which is on the opposite side of campus of where my classes were that day). I pulled in the garage to find about 10 other cars circling around for spots, too.

BUT, God must have heard my prayer. I saw a girl on the second floor walking to her car to leave. I followed her, she pulled out, and I exclaimed “Thank you, Jesus!” for this spot because it was 11:50 PM now and I NEEDED to get to my very first Anatomy and Physiology II Lab early.

I sat in my car to take a deep breath and decided that my blog today would most likely be about silver linings because of my incessant positive thoughts that kept me sane.

The (slightly forced) thoughts running through my mind this morning as this “bad day” unfolded:

  1. I got extra rest that others would have killed for.
  2. I am so fortunate to have OJ to drink in my fridge.
  3. Not everyone is able to even take a shower every day.
  4. I am fortunate to have a closet FULL of clothes (cute ones, if I do say so myself).
  5. It is a blessing to have food to eat every day.
  6. Parking (if you leave your house anytime between 10:30 AM and 1 PM) SUCKS. But, at least I know that now and I DO have a car to drive (with just enough gas in the tank).
  7. Spirit Way Garage makes for a far walk (especially in the cold morning mist), but it’s good exercise and it’s not freezing temperatures. I’m grateful because I can walk and I am not handicapped… even though I longed for those handicapped parking spots.
  8. I am privileged to get an incredible education at a wonderful university.

Quotes to ponder on:

“Joy is not dependent upon situations or things. It is dependent upon how we perceive those situations and things.” Leticia Rae.

“Every day may not be good… But there is something good in every day.”

Challenge:

Be grateful, no matter how difficult, and have a GREAT day.