from my pen and paper


It’s a gift, a privilege. A joy, a deep breath. It’s intentional, thoughtful. It’s understood and a timeless thing to do.

But it’s tough to return…

Why is that??

Retreating feels like escaping- resting…. but should it be?

Maybe retreating should be mindfulness, prayerfulness, and fully engaging with the realities of this world.

Does the Lord call us to escape ever? (unless it’s evil)

No- He rescued us. We are called to retreat with the Lord to help us put thoughts and prayers into actions. We should think on difficult things- beautiful, tragic, and romantic things. Surrendering them all to the good Lord.

Holy Spirit, guide me in my retreating- help me to discern what it should look like daily. Thank You for my rest in You- for that opportunity. You are my true hiding place. Amen.



Behavioral Correction/Discipline/Grace…

Is this  How important is this [discipline] in our daily walk with Christ?

Is it more natural or more intentional?

It shouldn’t be our focus, because Jesus re-wrote our story to be about redemption and grace.

However, we cannot only fixate on grace and keep on sinning. (Romans 6:1)


I have this tendency to be a rule follower but inwardly will still keep sinning and get comfortable in that.

I pray for the Holy Spirit to guide me in walking in His ways. To help me discern right from wrong- not for the sake of “being right” or appearing as if I have it all together.

But for the case of Christ- may my actions always glorify Jesus. [knowing they won’t, but God can use anything… right?]

Help my words (and actions) to be filled with hope and love.

Whether that love is tough/correctional or full of grace- may it be what the other person needs to know Jesus and desire Him more. Amen.IMG_1711


Entertainment… what is the purpose?

to impress? to be liked? to be the center of attention? worldly

to bring people joy? to enjoy company? still wordly?

did Jesus entertain?

How can God be glorified in entertainment? I’ve seen it, but can’t put my finger on how. [neature probably]

I’m stumped honestly…

Why is it that we feel pressure to entertain those we love most when they visit us?

Why does this world drive us to DO MORE than just spend time?

Our hands and feet desire activity. Our eyes and ears desire beauty and laughter. All is gift from God!

What better way to use what we have (our gifts) than to actively serve the Lord and glorify Him? and to thank Him for the gift of His entertainment?

Holy Spirit, may you always be who we want to serve, praise, and be praised by. Amen.



Just my Facebook note: “Starting Over”

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“Starting Over”
From the time we were young, there have always been endings and beginnings. Pictured above is my first day of kindergarten (I thought my mom would like that one . Now, I sit here in Tallahassee as an FSU Alumna. It is a place I have truly grown to love. Yet, my boxes are packed and I am moving out to Nashville tomorrow to work as a pediatric nurse.
Please know: I don’t tell you that to be a “humble bragger”. I genuinely want my good friends and family to know where I will be heading next. I also want you all to know that yes- I understand a new place is exciting and Nashville is so much fun and so on. However, this next step isn’t going to be perfect. It is a scary thought that I have had just a little over a month to process this move, to be moving far from home, and to start over again. But I am still thankful- so so thankful.
It is 100% cliche… but it has been a roller coaster of a ride- and I mean that as in the last month and the last 4 years. I actually really don’t like roller coasters because they scare me, but I think it’s a good way to describe my journey.
With some uphills, downhills, tears, fear, weird twists and turns, gripping tightly to what I think I can control, raising my arms, laughter, shutting my eyes tightly because I don’t want to look down, and deciding to open them and just look at the beauty around- I would say that every part of a rollercoaster can seriously be a parallel to my college experience.
Some might see me on social media and think that I have had it easy. It might appear that good grades come easy, that I have a good head on my shoulders, that I have been “wildly successful” in life thus far. But there have been extremely trying seasons, I have made my big mistakes too, and my success is not measured by this world standard of success. I would not want to show you all my transcripts as there are a few times I have had to say “C’s get degrees”. There are times that I have had to go to professors over and over again to increase my test grades by maybe 2 points each time to just barely pass the class. If anyone knows test anxiety or the feeling of inadequacy in school- it is me. I would not want to share with you the times I have fallen short, but I gladly will if you ever need the reminder that we are all just human and that is OK.
I want to make it known that the Lord has consistently and faithfully guided me with His very sure hand, and he will continue to do so. My faults have been revealed to me during emotional weeks, classes, friendships, relationships, and stress. Yet, my strengths have also been shown to me in those very same situations which I am very thankful for His grace and love in that way.
The support I receive from family, friends, mentors, ministers, and educators is support that I do not take for granted. Not everyone has that kind of support unfortunately… but I hope to extend the love of Jesus Christ that I have been shown in every beginning, ending, and in between to those that have never experienced it on my next adventure. I am excited to be a nurse- to love the kids that don’t know love, to love the fearful parents, my co-workers who have lost 3 patients in a week, and so on. It is a huge responsibility and I hope and pray for the humility, bravery, and gentleness to love well and to be His good and faithful servant no matter what selfish tendencies may arise.
I have a new address and would love to share it with those who still like snail mail! Please feel free to call, text, or private message me for that! Love you all
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.” -1 Peter 4:8-11

Post from my iPhone before bed: Confidence Boosters 

It’s been a while. I’ve missed blogging… but it’s been kind of worth it not being on this 24/7… Because I GOT AN A ON MY ANATOMY PRACTICAL LAST WEEK!  THIS IS MAKING ALLIE’S COLLEGE GRADES HISTORY BOOK (a very nonexistent book). 

Only one month left, then I’m free from that awfully difficult class and this semester!!!!!!!!!!!! Banaisuagabzkoduwgsvdnwkwoeushqbskdiuwyqbsmxoieue cannot contain the excitement. 

THEN I’m on to nursing specific classes, which I am so excited for! I got my schedule for fall this week, so it’s nice to know my school life is somewhat in order. 


Another coolish thing I have been doing is running. My friends convinced me to run a half marathon with them next February. It sounds crazy, but I actually kind of enjoy it now. I ran 2 miles today… It was kind of hard. But I don’t remember the last time I ran 2 miles. So, I am not THAT out of shape. 

Fun thing I learned today: Awkward isn’t a concept in other languages. English is the only language that has a word for awkward. It’s some crazy idea we came up with in our heads. 


So be BOLD & CONFIDENT. Ask guys to coffee if you’re interested (if they think it’s “awkward” it’s their fault), run (even if you’re convinced you run “awkwardly”), study (even if it’s “awkward” that you see the same people in the library all of the time).

Also: if my friend who secretly blogs on tumblr is reading this… You’re getting a special shout out, because you inspired me tonight to pray earnestly. And I think you’ve called yourself awkward before, and I’m just letting you know that you’re not and that I love ya! And we should all know that God is calling each and every one of us to not pay attention to what we believe are our “awkward” flaws, and rather be brave to glorify Him in all we do. 

You make me brave. No fear can hinder now the love that made a way. 


“Hi! How are you? How is your life?!”

Typical Guy Answer: “I’m good, my life is good. How is yours?”

Typical Girl (ME) answer: “Oh djfmbhfkjqhfgwqhkdnmsavfehjfqweoi3ehqwlkdnmbcspwqihduefgbasmnbkwhdewbfaskjbkjfdbwqkgou (has a very long explanation of their day and week, and family)… so yeah! Oh! AND ewbfjewjgdfwkdhlqkndmvgwegiqdhnsmxbnvcmnnoiwhqudgeyqfavjh (tells super long story). Life is so great. Thanks for asking!”

So, if you readers are wondering how I am doing, I would want to express everything going on in my life and what makes me happy, motivated, sad, upset, etc. BUT I cannot articulate those things into a well written blog. Therefore, I will leave you with the typical guy answer and a fun fact….

Jamaica gained their independence in 1962.

Also, today is Friday the 13th and I am exhausted, but am brainstorming ideas to write about tomorrow that aren’t annoyingly long explanations of my entire life.

Here is a hint to what I want to write about.
Here is a hint to what I want to write about next.